Martha Beck

Then, around 2:00 p.m., I suddenly ate three cupcakes, two cans of Diet Coke, and toast. You know there’s something seriously wrong when you follow up cupcakes with toast.

Pundimania: Actually caring what is said by televised political pundits. Leads to rage, profanity, brain erosion, sleep crime, and the catastrophic failure of all relationships.

Birkenstockholm Syndrome: Spending so much time at meditation retreats that you begin to accept hemp clothing as formal wear.

Recovering Religious Renunciate Rebound Regression (RRRRR): Affects anyone who once gave up large chunks of personality in an attempt to be loved by weird religious definitions of God. Under pressure, the patient snaps back into believing that s/he will be smitten with boils for using the word “damn.”

I am reminded of a time I gave a speech in one of the Carolinas—I don’t remember which Carolina, because I was speaking so often during that period that all 50 states blend together. I was tired and jetlagged, and my speech—how shall I say—sucked, sucked, sucked.

Last week, an emergency vet gave us morphine and bad news (which as far as I’m concerned should always be offered in tandem).

Anyone wanna spend some time here? Alone?

World's best undiscovered comedian. She writes self-help books about North Stars. What a waste.

Opposites

There are many opposites. Hot and cold, top and bottom, left and right. They are the most obvious, of course. There are many more subtle opposites. One I just thought of is running away and suicide. Suicide freezes the life, never to be changed again. Running away cleans the slate (if done "properly") or gives you another one, if your slate is too cluttered to clean.

ABBA

They make such great music. It's full of energy, good to belt out at the top of your voice and dance crazily to. Except the slow songs, duh. But that is obvious, right?

The Twilight series is awesomely awesomely awesome. 'Nuff said.

Sleep

I'm tired. It's time for the most magical process of all to take place in the human body; sleep. A restoration, reverberating beauty, shining with peace. Time to go to bed.

Freedom

None of us are completely free. All of us have someone with power over us. Mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, grandparents, teachers, employers, clients, friends, there is always someone with power over us. No one really wants to be utterly free. No one really wants to be completely cut loose. No one really wants that.

It's so much easier to take in than to put out, to experience that to create. I don't know how they do it. Comedians. Rove. Jon Stewart. People like them. They constantly create. I respect them.

Genesis

We still haven't named all the animals. We really should, you know...