The Dog.

Dusty.
That was the only word to describe this room. I wondered how long it had been like this. As I looked around the room, I noticed something reflecting sunlight on a table near the window. A small mirror sat across the other side of the room, and a small beam of light was shining from it top the table. I walked over to the table and looked down at the mirror.
That was how I was when death found me.
Dying is not the frightening experience people think it will be. I've done it 42 times so far; that had to be the final time however, as dogs only have 43 lives. Maybe now I would be able to rejoin my long dead love, who died his 43rd time several years ago. I walked slowly around the room in spirit form and wondered where I would go from here. But even as I wondered and wandered, I could feel myself being pulled towards a new body.

My spirit form was drawn out the door and down a long hallway toward the living room. I saw my old mangy smelly dog was sitting in the corner licking himself. But that wasn't my destination. Then I headed out into the street where the neighbours were throwing a street party. I saw that the had all brought their dogs out with them. And then I felt myself twisting out out out towards a new body, a new life, a new story.
The End.

Never Catch A Kebab in America

In America, if you ever eat a kebab you will get food poisoning. Definitely. No way around it. Anywhere else in the world it's fine, especially Turkey, but in America a kebab always leads to hours on the toilet. Never catch a kebab in America.

Cottonballs

Most people think that cottonballs are just made of cotton. They are wrong (what a surprise). Another essential ingredient in cottonballs is air.

Escape the room.

Imagine an escape-the-room game. A plain wooden door is what stands between you and freedom. You solve the puzzles, but when a hidden panel swings open, it's not a key; it's a door. When you go down, it's another world. A medieval one. The game transforms into a side-scroller RPG... A dramatic quest to save the kingdom, rescue the princess, and kill the dragon ensues. Crossing lava rivers on trapeezes, arranging ancient stones on tables, and decoding obscure codes all thoroughly fail to distact from that nagging question: What about that key?
Eventually you save everyone. And finally you get to ask the king about the key. The king shrugs; he doesn't know about it. But he comissions the royal locksmith to make a master-key, capable of unlocking any door in the world, and is glad you don't ask for anything harder. So finally, after maybe an hour or two of this game, you get the key, go back to the door, into the room, and look at the door. There is no lock. You twist the handle, and exit.
The door was never locked.

You could have left at any time.

Seed

Create the perfect plant, or a really ugly one, in Seed. Or, even better, think up actual things to say. That would be good. ;)
Sample flowers:

53.2, 0x7e3b1e, 5, 8, 35.8, 0.3, 2.8, 1.4, 27.6, 64.6, 0.3, 2, 0.3, 0.0, 0.1, 0.0, 2.2, 0.1, 0.8, 0.1, 0xa477a2, 0x3c3d48, 6.8, 10.8, 7, 8, 0.8, 0.5

48.9, 0x61896e, 4, 6, 25.4, 0.5, 2.1, 1.2, 60.0, 83.9, 0.1, 3, 0.0, 0.0, 0.0, 0.1, 1.1, 0.0, 0.1, -0.4, 0x755d62, 0x76f1c7, 5.5, 12.9, 10, 16, 1.0, 0.9

100.0, 0x13ac00, 7, 7, 45.5, 0.3, 2.8, 1.5, 37.2, 65.5, 0.0, 2, 0.0, 0.3, 0.2, 0.1, 1.1, -0.1, 0.7, -0.1, 0xf4c8eb, 0xa6a6a6, 7.2, 1.0, 7, 11, 0.0, 0.2

57.8, 0x68905c, 3, 2, 30.0, 0.7, 2.0, 1.1, 30.0, 70.0, 0.7, 3, 0.0, 0.1, 0.1, 0.1, 1.3, -0.1, 0.4, 0.2, 0x644f4f, 0xf6bc96, 5.8, 9.4, 10, 18, 0.7, 0.8

88.9, 0x314c3d, 13, 10, 30.0, 0.5, 1.8, 1.5, 34.7, 70.9, 0.3, 2, 0.5, 0.2, 0.2, 0.0, 1.3, 0.0, -0.1, -0.5, 0xbbad9b, 0x605e5e, 7.5, 8.9, 10, 12, 0.0, 0.4

43.9, 0x4f645a, 4, 7, 29.5, 0.3, 1.5, 1.3, 32.5, 73.8, 0.2, 3, 0.1, 0.0, 0.0, 0.0, 1.1, 0.1, 0.1, -0.1, 0xb07481, 0xf0f0bf, 5.2, 8.1, 8, 12, 0.6, 0.9

57.8, 0x68905c, 3, 2, 32.8, 0.7, 2.0, 1.1, 29.4, 70.0, 0.7, 3, 0.0, 0.1, 0.1, 0.1, 1.3, -0.1, 0.4, 0.2, 0x644f4f, 0xb4b406, 5.8, 9.4, 10, 18, 0.7, 0.8

40.7, 0x61896e, 4, 6, 25.4, 1.0, 2.7, 1.2, 35.0, 83.9, 0.1, 3, 0.0, 0.1, 0.0, 0.1, 1.1, -0.1, 0.1, -0.1, 0x755d62, 0x76f1c7, 9.5, 12.9, 11, 16, 1.5, 1.2

38.3, 0x61896e, 4, 6, 20.0, 1.0, 2.9, 1.2, 35.0, 83.9, 0.0, 1, 0.0, 0.0, 0.3, 0.2, 1.1, -0.2, -0.2, -0.7, 0x755d62, 0x8792bc, 8.2, 16.8, 12, 16, 1.5, 0.9

Things that confuse me

America 2000-2007
George Bush
Evoutionists
Rubix Cubes
Wasjigs
Spendthrifts
Why anyone would want to be normal
Love
Hate
Idiots
Optical illusions